If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
