I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
