FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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