Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
