nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
