I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize