this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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