Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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