Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
