What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
