Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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