So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
