So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
