My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
