i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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