He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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