Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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