On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
