false alarm. still invincible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
