yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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