I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she was so not down for the gang bang
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
