he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
