that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
