i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
