Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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