Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
