Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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