Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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