I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
