...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
