so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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