I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
