Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
