woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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