he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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