now i know why i became what i already was.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
