He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
