And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
now i know why i became what i already was.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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