Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
