Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
