lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
