when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
