Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
