You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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