I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
