Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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