perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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