turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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