what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
