I don't think brook has ever known best
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
