am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
